@BFNotAllowed: My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@just1fool: I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet.
@offbeatoliv: I think that as a reward for losing 200 lbs you should be able to use all of that loose skin to become a human version of a flying squirrel.
@VikeeysSecret: Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors.
@hogrider05: Was having a bad day so I tried the whole pulling up big girl panties thing. She didn't appreciate the wedgie but I did feel better after.