@HelsNotAllowed: My boyfriend isn't allowed to have candles on his birthday cake...Wtf are you wishing for? All your dreams came true when you met me.
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@famouscrab: you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous
@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
@behindyourback: "conference" comes from the Latin "con" meaning "together with" and "ference" meaning "the worst people on earth"