@Ideal_Victoria: My boyfriend just texted me, “We need to talk.” I think he’s going to propose!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to 11 y.o: "You need to apologize to your sister for calling her stupid." 11: "Okkk... I'm sor- wait. Which sister?"
@TheDairylandDon: Mah Dearest Emma, War on Christmas is hell. This morn, I saw 7 elves stabbed with 1 menorah. I fear this nog soaked yuletide may nevah end.
@WeissBrandon: My wife says that we should keep the chocolate milk in the back of the fridge so it stays colder, but personally I just think she's racist
@pakalupapito: isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they’re annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would’ve died like 15 years ago