@Ideal_Victoria: My boyfriend just texted me, “We need to talk.” I think he’s going to propose!
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@Hobo_Splendido: The "self-lubricated catheter" and the "discreet pocket catheter" have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life.
@Ungli_Baba: Me: Dad, how did you guys manage without WhatsApp and SMS ?? Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
@Breadery: At my funeral I want the picture of me next to the coffin to have eyeholes cut out with someone behind it glaring at people coming in.