@Ideal_Victoria: My boyfriend just texted me, “We need to talk.” I think he’s going to propose!
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@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.
@KenJennings: I subscribe to Groupon because it's good to know which nearby restaurants have mediocre food & will probably be out of business soon.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: You put the "cow" in "coworker" Her: Excuse me?? Me: It's a joke format. Her: I'm telling HR.. Me: Ok but I doubt they'll get it either.