@Jesssicle: My boyfriend said that I'm more than enough woman for him, and now I'm mad because I think he called me fat.
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@jjhartinger: him: who is your fantasy? me: huh? him: who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with? me: the elevator repair man.
@Tmoney68: *quietly opens cheese wrapper* *dogs come running from upstairs* Me: How the hell did you hear that? [10 minutes later] *gf quietly opens bag of chips* Me: (from upstairs) ARE THOSE MY CHIPS?