@Jez1: My boyfriend said we can't hang out this weekend because he doesn't exist.
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@Matt_the_1st: 911,What's your emergency? Me: I think it's a heart attack 911: Can you call back when you're sure, we're watching Walking Dead
@socarolinesays: I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water