@Jez1: My boyfriend said we can't hang out this weekend because he doesn't exist.
@CelebrityChez: Just saw a fly on my flight and all I could think was what a lazy piece of shit.
@_youhadonejob: Long weekend.
@SubsistingPasse: If pi is 3.14, then i think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
@loribuckmajor: "HOW MUCH FOR THE GREEN SMART CAR?"
"Ma'am, that's a watermelon"
@TheTweetOfGod: St. Patrick's Day may just be an excuse to drink, but then again so is Ireland.