@Jez1: My boyfriend said we can't hang out this weekend because he doesn't exist.
@longwall26: One time dad asked what my five-year plan was, and I said "death or becoming a pirate king" and he threw my cat Alan at me
@pickupIines: do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydropower because dam
@MmmBacon_: I am woman, hear me ignore.
@JacknArisdad: You wouldn't believe me after reading my TL but my 1st language actually is English
@sunexplode: Remove dead skin by hurling yourself into an active volcano.