@HaleyMDriscoll: My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat.
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@UncleDuke1969: I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent.
@electroskippy: [installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?
@E_lok44: I just found a Cheerio in my sofa and we don't have any Cheerios in this house. *eats it
@realHamOnWry: After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US is about to unleash its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date…the American tourist.