@thesupergrobi: My boyfriend thinks I'm not funny. Whatever, at least I'm a real person.
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@LeonEarlgrey: Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk.
@remmarg_yelsel: I'd definitely watch a show with Dr. Phil going door to door reading people's Google search history out-loud with the most judgmental stare.
@bingowings14: Traffic cop: Just blow into this for me sir. Man in car: But that's a balloon. Traffic cop: if you just cooperate sir, it'll soon be a dog.