@thesupergrobi: My boyfriend thinks I'm not funny. Whatever, at least I'm a real person.
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@ImOnlineLol: remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot
@TheTweetOfGod: The Apple Watch may become so addictive it keeps people from looking at what's truly important in life, like their iPhones.
@Lance_Said_This: What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there's no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
@PhilJamesson: [Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME