@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD.
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@clindsaysway: Whenever I'm in a difficult situation, I think, "What would I do?" so I can do the opposite thing
@NurseMurderer: This earthquake was the first time that I've ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
@ZanyJaney11: Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
@HatfieldAnne: Learn to ask more specific questions. It's not “How do I look?” It's “Do I look good enough people are surprised I married you?”