@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD.
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@KarenKilgariff: LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied
@blaudiablogan: Sign at the gas station: "Bathroom is no longer available." I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone.
@xnoahanthonyx: Can you describe the man who did this *me crying* "he was a meanie head" No describe his face, sir *clenches fist* "He had a stupid face"