@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises.
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@shwebby3: Anytime I see a motorcyclist weaving in and out of traffic and performing tricks I always root for the pavement
@shatterpants: When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?" Then I frown & order the soup.
@QwertyJones3: [nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? "Yes of course we do!" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*
@kimwilliamz: The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.