@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises.
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@thongbeard: Just texted her "thanks for choking on me" I meant "checking" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be.
@HeyZeus666: Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death has never walked away from a lousy job.
@dave_cactus: ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE