@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises.
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@JasonLastname: On your first day in prison, walk right up to the nicest guy in there and break his heart.
@BigHeb7: If your best clothes proudly advertise Monster Energy Drink, you can't be left alone with your best looking cousin.
@bea_ker: [circus school] "So to tame the lion, you have this whip..." What if the lion's too close? [picking up tiny stool] "we've thought of that"