@curlymalloy: My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!
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@sambha_bhilane: I like to listen to Anu Malik's music while I study because he is a constant reminder on why it's important to get educated.
@david8hughes: [cops knock on my door] "Sir?" "Nobody's home." "Who said that then?" "My dog." "Jesus Christ, well do u know when Mr Hughes will be back?"
@LizHackett: I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like "If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit."
@philmann: I'm the opposite of a bee keeper. I lose bees all the time. I left a hive on the train today. Just accidentally threw a bee at a nun.