@UnicornSyrup: My boyfriend wanted a serious relationship so we stopped smiling at each other.
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@EricGoldie: You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a "clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup" kind of morning.
@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
@DumbConfessions: *starts throwing a fit* Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers. Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
@thenatewolf: Me: I know you from somewhere Jesus: I get that a lot Me: no I'm sure Jesus: just one of those faces Me: [holding arms out] go like this