@JElvisWeinstein: My brain knows that there's a guy doing work on my roof today, but my nervous system keeps acting like the house is under attack.
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@JustTashie: Welcome to twitter, the support group for people who like people who don't like people.
@rikpayne: I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
@NeighborGrumpy: 3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?