@StoferComic: My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song "Get Off the Stage or Die." Elvis, maybe?
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@Queen_Sassy_AF: *naked in court* Judge: What do you have to say for yourself? Me: Well apparently the definition of “flash mob” is not what I excepted your honor.
@SteveKoehler22: I got fired from my job as a diesel fitter in a panties factory. We would hold the panties up, inspect them and say "Dese'll fit her"
@AnitaHelmet: If men knew the effect their scent has on women, they'd shower more and fart less.