@StoferComic: My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song "Get Off the Stage or Die." Elvis, maybe?
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@caliluvgirl77: "I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can't figure out boyfriend's passwords
@QuotingJokes: I love how the Ninja Turtles wear masks to hide their identity. It's not like you're a giant turtle or anything.
@batkaren: We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if— okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed…