@StoferComic: My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song "Get Off the Stage or Die." Elvis, maybe?
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@LindaInDisguise: I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
@isabelzawtun: The local children surround me, trying to build a pyre. I'M NOT A WITCH, I shriek, my witch-like shrieking doing me no favours whatsoever
@AnkCoupleTO: Genie: I'll grant you 3 wishes Me: I want to fall in love G: OK next M: With a really nice girl *we both start laughing*
@Junk_Boat: She told me she "literally died laughing," and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face.