@BromanConsul: My brother goes to "Peninsula High." When the class of 2015 got senior shirts made, no one decided to regulate them.
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@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.
@Ygrene: Me: I'm nervous about mingling at the party Wife: Just talk about stuff anyone can relate to [Party] Me: HI I UNDERSTAND YOU TOO ARE HUMAN
@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”
@jonnysun: a person who loves cats is not a cat person theyre a dog person who loves cats. a cat person is sombody who is completley apathetic to cats