@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast
"they're eating dog food"
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@SodomyClown: Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters.
@topaz_kell: Exposing myself to different cultures has an entirely different meaning than I thought. *puts trench coat back on*
@TheBenHoyle: I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
@VerbsRProudest: I don't know when the apocalypse will happen. All I know for sure is my son will still have 4th grade math homework due the next day.
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