@DurtMcHurtt: Make new friends by waking up strangers with forehead kisses after they've fallen asleep on the train.

@CindyMeakin: Well, I'm going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it.

@fightforfood: Whenever Becky says anything in the breakroom, I just say, "well, that got racist pretty fast" and walk out. I hate you so much, Becky.

@longwall26: "Hello, cops? A man in an apron attacked my hair with scissors!" "LOL sir, that was a barber." "He was black." "We're sending a battleship."

@laurajennyjo: Apparently trapping people in an elevator overnight (even if you have marsh mellows) not a good way to make friends, people are so sensitive