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@JukeJointJesse: My bucket list.
1. Buy bucket.
@ShawnHatosy: The so called genius at the Apple Store mentioned he has a girlfriend; thus, his geek credibility is compromised & I don't trust his advice.
@pattonoswalt: "Boo!" -- cow with a cold
@KeetPotato: [dog paws your leg when you stop stroking his head]
1st time: "aww cuuuute"
2nd time: "ha okay"
3rd time: "i am trapped in a nightmare"
@grimpossible: Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.
@Donna_McCoy: I just smile when someone says I eat like a horse, because it's hard to argue through a mouthful of sugar cubes.