@Brianhopecomedy: My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, "Samantha".
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@juliussharpe: Roadside motels are a good place to stay if you haven't decided yet whether you want to kill someone or be killed.
@nthall350: The zombie I shot earlier may have just been a kid with chapped lips. I don't take any chances.
@RamblingMachine: The worst part of having to kiss someone is when the coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.