@BadMikeyBad: My buddy's phone autocorrected "wife" to "wide" and now he's living in my garage.
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@dreamsinchocola: My husbands signature move is running to town "real quick" and coming home 5 hours later.
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.