@BadMikeyBad: My buddy's phone autocorrected "wife" to "wide" and now he's living in my garage.
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@LittlestSlobo: The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you're fighting with your brother.
@RexHuppke: "Let's take a couple dozen over-stimulated children and give them enough sugar to kill an elephant." - inventor of the birthday party
@dragnut: Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance.