@k_lli: My calendar says I have 18 meetings left this week. Time to go lick Maria in accounting; she's coming down with flu.
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@thepunningman: Guard: Sorry, no dogs Man: But it's a guide dog Guard: Oh, ok Guide Dog: And if you look to your left you'll notice an insensitive jerk
@the_hawlk: SECURITY GUARD: "Sir, I have to check all backpacks" ME: "ok" *opens backpack* *its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*
@EwdatsGROSS: Boys who wear sports jerseys are just cosplaying athletes but no one is ready to have that conversation yet.
@topaz_kell: I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down.