@MichaelTrying: My calendar says there's a new moon tomorrow. The old one was there for 4.5 billion years; you'd think people would be more excited.
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@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?
@wendchymes: Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"
@tamberinetango: Chances of my kid no longer liking their 'favourite' snack the day after I bought the Costco size box of it? 210%