@suzieQ0007: My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands.
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@LaceyNycole: Him: How much do you love me? Me: A bit more than pizza. Him: Me: But not as much as coffee.
@shkeeber: Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.
@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
@markleggett: ACTORS: It's easy to appear blind. Look near but never at someone when you talk to them, and if anyone says "Did you see that?" say "Nope".