@IGotsSmarts: My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006.
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@andylassner: If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents walking around and cursing after stepping on Legos, it's not based on a true story.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Carson: No it wasn't a friend it was a close family member. And I didn't stab her I froze her heart. "Sir, that's the plot of Frozen."
@Mike_Bianchi: My band is so indie we don't even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.
@novicefather: I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit.