@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.
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@GlennyRodge: Just tried a kids meal in McDonald's. Unfortunately, her dad chased me away before I got any of her chips.
@daemonic3: Here you go, Merry Christmas! "Dad, why'd you wrap our gifts in soft fabric?" Because I wanted to make- Mom: NO DON'T My presents felt
@Dawn_M_: If I were a werewolf I wouldn't have to chain myself up at night because I don't like going out anyway.
@QwertyJones3: My wife & I couldn't agree on which psychic to go to. They were all sad and depressing. "What did you do?" We finally found a happy medium