@preshmomes: my car is dead & i saw a dead spider under the hood so like, do i need a new spider? i dont know a lot about how cars work
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@DarthPutinKGB: Men who claim to only watch the #SuperBowl for the ads are the same ones who say they only read Playboy for the articles.
@mattZillaaaa: I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined
@FBSisnothere: You know you have something special w someone when u start finishing their sentences. But enough about me & my local Subway sandwich artist
@brunopieroni: No Amazon, I don't want to sort stuff by "Price: High to Low," who are the billionaires who would even make that an option?