@man_spach: My car ran out of gas in a trailer park and now I have the most expensive home in the neighborhood.
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@VanGobot: *captain over the PA*: and if you look out your window to the left, you'll see Jerry, who is no longer my best friend, and deserves this.
@WigCannon: before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask "how'd you get up there" and they'd be like "i don't know"
@EndhooS: Noah's wife: r u joking right now? Noah: my hands are tied babe Noah's Wife: but.. we're married? Noah: I'm sorry but he said 2 of each species Noah's mate Dave: [pushing past with an xbox] If only there was another way
@TheToddWilliams: I wear a ski mask wherever I go but only rob ski resorts. It's quite ingenious really. Let me explain...