@jjax44: My car, spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of ppl, & my Korean friend screams"HIT THE BLAKES" & I'm like"I CANT BE THAT SELECTIVE"
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@leyawn: im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason
@tastefactory: [robbers outside bank] When I said get some masks I meant something creepy like wolf masks "But can't u feel your pores really opening up?"
@KimmyMonte: *judge bangs gavel* Ok let's reconvene after a quick 20 min recess *immediately knocks over defense attorney to get to the slide first*
@TheDailySchmuck: "It meant nothing to me, babe. I swear!" When my girl catches me in the closet eating Devil's food cake with my bare hands.