@littlelady899: My cardio is mostly just running out of excuses not to exercise.
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@MarkAgee: I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.
@QwertyJones3: "See that guy over there? I have to serve him with papers today." -Oh really? Why? "Because I lost my tennis racquet."
@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.