@WheelTod: My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children.
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@Hebafouad21: In our wedding, I'll invite his ex and be like "Still believe you can get him back?"
@salamingia: Don't you love it when you order salt at McDonald's and you accidentally get some fries!
@kcmoore51: 13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon. Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro.
@librarianfonz: I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together.