@TheCatWhisprer: My cat acts pretty tough for someone who disappears for 3 days anytime I sneeze.
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@NottaBigDeal: I stand in the tampon aisle and when a woman reaches for a box, I snicker and say "you're gross".
@MelKassel: ME: do dogs think we have three mouths because we pick stuff up with our hands? VET: where exactly is your dog ME: he's uh coming later
@Ygrene: Know why I pulled you over? "No sir" 1987, 7-11 on Main, you paid for Coke but filled your cup with Slurpee. We gotcha. We finally gotcha