@PowKapowBoom: My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first.
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@tsm560: Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.
@nbadag: [hosting a kids show] ME: ok everybody, what time is it?? say it loud!! KIDS: OWL! TOUCHING! TIME! [camera zooms in on a startled barn owl]
@LMHPhotog: Teach a fish to catch a MAN, and you've got a blockbuster horror movie idea under your belt.