@That_Damn_Duck: My cat is walking a very fine line between being cute & being sold to the Korean restaurant down the street.
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@o__0Dev: If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory.
@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.
@PlopWaffle: Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No
@Phillylawyer7: Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie about a girl who cannot dance at all, but wins a dance competition because her partner has a great mullet