@radtoria: my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks
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@iscoff: The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"
@Parentpains: After placing me in charge of training new employees I can't help but question my companies' commitment to success.