@Manda_like_wine: My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said "not now" so wish us luck we're officially married.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rudy_mustang: how would water even break? it's a liquid. im not sure i want to have a baby with a liar sharon
@WheelTod: A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet
@Ristolable: First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks "is that your puppy?" say "No. That's my dad." Then storm off.
@DeadLioness: In a parallel universe, a zebra is walking around her contemporary decorated house, on top of a skinned blonde chick with big hoops rug.