@mdob11: My cat just winked at me and now it's awkward because I only see her as a friend.
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@NotThatKevin: I said my wife's name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet's empty...
@SissiSay: Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings.
@jonnysun: FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same… work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?