@mdob11: My cat just winked at me and now it's awkward because I only see her as a friend.
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@jimmytorosian: Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer.
@ceejoyner: ENEMY: can you smell that? That's fear. ME: the baked goods? ENEMY: no. focus on your fear. ME: we must be knife fighting behind a bakery
@Arroia: Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.