@Laser_Cat: My cat knocked my phone into the toilet so now I have to shop for a new cat.
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@ArfMeasures: DATE: Are we in Starbucks because you've forgotten my name? ME: Haha of course that's BARISTA: Latte for Rachel ME: not true, Rachel DATE: That's not mine ME: DAMN IT
@nealbrennan: When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist.