@skullpuppy11: My cat said "meow", so I answered with a "meow", and now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to.
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@noduffers: If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
@semple42: The date was going so well until he called me gorgeous and I blew a bubble out of my nose on accident.
@64spoons: Call me a hoarder if you want but don't come crying to me when you need a 3 foot tall stack of mayonnaise jar labels.
@JohnLyonTweets: *approaches woman in club* Me: Would you like to dance? Her: Sure. Me: While you're dancing can I sit in your chair? I'm really tired.