@Bob_Janke: My cat sat up from a dead sleep and stared, frantic toward the empty basement laundry room so I guess I'll be buying a new house now.
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@crabgirl_: *Getting a tattoo* Me(to tattoo artist)-Do you ever make the bzzz-sounds with your mouth when you're using a regular pen on your spare time?
@WhiskeySoured: Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books.