@itsa_talia: my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him.
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@bingowings14: The 16yo tells me he's been revising all day. His browser history suggests he's got his YouTube exam in the morning.
@texasstalkermom: That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide.
@SimplyNamedTron: How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head.