@lasergirl70: My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections.
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@UNTRESOR: You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked.
@DjJazzyJeffro: A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!
@robdelaney: I'm so sweaty at all times I think it would be biologically accurate to call me amphibious.