@chi73girl: My cat thinks any questions I ask him are rhetorical.
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@sammyrhodes: Sometimes I feel like Valentine's Day was invented by a guy who had way too many chocolate covered strawberries.
@Be___Dope: :office birthday party: CW: Would you like to sign the card? Me: Nah, just here for the cake. Karen will understand. CW: His name is Joe.
@bonehugsnirony: Me: algebra is a scam lmao [years later] St. Peter: solve this equation if you want to enter heaven Me: oh no