@MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!
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@Ohaiqtpie: On a poster in my math class "4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions" The sad thing is my first thought was "Oh good, I'm not alone!"
@INDlAN_: Cop: Lemme see your papers Me: Okay Cop: These are rolling papers Me: Would you look at that Cop: Sir are you high? Me: What are you, a cop?
@XplodingUnicorn: My daughters took turns tracing each other over and over with chalk. Now it looks like 25 children were murdered in my driveway.