@MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!
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@PeachCoffin: When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she'd hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old
@Crunch11b: Every time someone says, "at least it's a dry heat," I want to stab them with a box cutter. *at least it's a short knife.