@LOsepyan: We should let prisoners take their own mug shots...I shall call it "The cellfie"

@3sunzzz: My personal trainer at the gym told me I need to start working on my upper body strength. I told him to just open the damn pickles and STFU.

@scorpicpanda: I'm gonna covet you. I am gonna covet you so hard. I am gonna covet the holy living shit outta you. C'mere.

@donni: "My god...we're monsters," I murmured to a local monster, who nodded sympathetically

@tlcprincess: Man reading a book: hot Man with a baby: hot Man reading a book to a baby: hold me back my ovaries have exploded.