@Tw1tter_K1tten: My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw "Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@Cheeseboy22: I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. This kid working at Baskin Robbins is pretty scared. Now he's crying in the corner.
@Reverend_Scott: *calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly.