@Tw1tter_K1tten: My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw "Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"
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@jakob_huber: "What's your name?" "I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo's riders-" *Starbucks barista quits on the spot*
@Born2bVild: The way your stick figures take up your whole back window tells me you need a bigger car and a class on condoms.
@CindyMeakin: What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet.