@theshamingofjay: My cell phone battery dies quicker than a mother in a Disney movie
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@LizHackett: A child is being pushed around in a pink toy convertible while eating a chocolate frosted donut, and I want to ask her how she got this job.
@electrolemon: damn demi, your rap battle opponent didn't even try to diss your clothes. what's your secret. [camera pans out to show all-orange outfit]
@hythemafia: Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your shit in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.