@StorybookBlonde: My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown.
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@SteveSuckington: "There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today." -meteorologists
@professor_eks: If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides.
@dsmitty62: Told my mom I hit 1200 Twitter followers. She pointed out how my brother owns a house and I'm wanted by several collection agencies. Oh ma!
@SortaBad: Body: go to sleep Brain: what country has the largest population of goats? Better run a search on this