@Donna_McCoy: My Christmas shopping will be financed by my swear jar again this year.
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@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: thank u, those are all my questions. do u hav any questions for us ME: yes…why do i want this job INTERVIEWER: [starts sweatig]
@tuckerflodman: [1st date] -I'm a fish whisperer. Wow, what does that mean? -*whispers* Fish. Oh... Haha um what do you- -*whispers right in her ear* Fish.
@drinksmcgee: They say that ones who hurt you the most also love you the most which means that this clown standing over me with an axe must love me a lot.
@BigBec43: *does something weird* *looks around for witnesses* *sees no one* *does something weird, LOUDER*