@Dpressedspartan: My class teacher once said "Write and Practice." Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked
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@GingerHotDish: *Throws up some gang signs* *stabs self in eye with salad fork* Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down.
@MartaEffing: My date thinks he's gonna get me drunk, & then get in my pants. The joke is on him, coz my tolerance is sky high & I'm wearing a skirt.
@WigCannon: your call is important to us. like, super important. we all bought new outfits for this call. dave is wearing a wig
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: I don’t care how cute you are, I will tear you to shreds if you don’t start cooperating. Wrapping paper: *rips*