@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
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@Old_Pat_Bren: Hey, Sean Bean, it's either Shaun Baun or Seen Been. You can't have it both ways.
@juliussharpe: I just saw an ad for a bulletproof briefcase. The real question is: why does your briefcase have so many enemies?
@CulturedRuffian: Just saw a bundt so big and beautiful I changed my sexual orientation to cake.
@weinerdog4life: one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere