@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
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@DanMentos: "none of your ridiculous drink recipes tonight, ok dan?" I promise [later] *stuffing flatbread into blender* WHO WANTS A PITA COLADA
@markydoodoo: *sees a meteor* I wonder where that's landing. Maybe if I run fast enough I can get crushed by it.
@brandonIee: Someone explain why clothes are so expensive? I should not have to pay this much to not be naked. People should pay ME to not be naked