@DiamondLou69: My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn't have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything.
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@Rollmaninoz: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
@chilldadpalguy: name a hurricane "Jesus" cuz then u could say "Jesus is coming" & have unaware ppl frantically prepare for rapture
@david8hughes: "I'm telling you, it's all or nothing," the exterminator explains to Noah, "I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."