@corinnemlwsw: My coat is so covered with dog fur that someone's probably going to throw red paint on me at some point today.
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@Dr_awfulpants: I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*
@TheHatdog: If you watch Scooby-Doo backwards its about some kids helping a business owner enter a costume contest then minding their own business.
@ArfMeasures: [court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record